Depression is not due to my disease; stress; anxiety; all those little demons that want to get in  because you leave a door open... No ! I know what ALS is; the handbook has told me everything there is to expect .. what's coming; so.. I'm not going to say I'm ready for it, No one can be, but I'm building enough strength to deal with it. The worse part is to close the door to those little demons that interfere with your joy. To save energy, to gain strength one has to be in a happy environment with love, very heart felt love, happiness, laughter; nice conversation,  is all I need to be able to dance in the rain and see the sun shine.

I'm learning day by day. But to my surprise there is a handbook for ALS. Time frames vary for each one; how it starts vary; when you'll end up in a wheel chair vary; when you'd need to be fed vary, but the instructions are in the handbook. It will tell you how you would need to be care for but it doesn't tell you how to deal with feelings.  I'm not there yet, but I wonder how would I feel being caged in my own body. Would I still feel the sun shining through the rain ?

It rains, it pours, but the sun must shine !

June 8th. 2015

Not too long ago everything to me was "Hands On Silk", working on silk was by far the greatest project. Suddenly it started raining ! pouring ! I couldn't work on silk anymore. My hands were too weak, I would get tire easily. I had to stop.  Found out later on, after tests after tests, from one place to another until  Dr. Brian Ziegler, Orthopedic Surgeon, referred me to Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville,  To Dr Ziegler my problem was not in my hands and he was so right !  My life suddenly has taken an unexpected turn... 180 degrees. On May 6, 2015 I was diagnosed with a Motor Neuron Disease / ALS.